What lies hadn’t I dealt with in coaching? What demons hadn’t I faced? What secret was I keeping? I was addicted to opiates and through my education and experiences at school I was able to heal the root and underlying cause why I became addicted, yet again. This has been a giant 500,000 pound brick tied to my neck like a boulder from Hell. Every time I looked in the mirror all I saw was the words LIAR. I talked about my alcohol sobriety but not the current struggle. Half of me was embarrassed and the other half was afraid. I had planned on keeping my secret but then after talking with my husband Leif he assured me that this is the reason I am doing the work I am doing. He said I had to go through this final phase of addiction so I could relate to people who were suffering with opiates. He said that I wouldn’t have understood how painful withdrawal is, or how easy it is to become addicted to them. He said I wouldn’t have had the compassion and that I had to experience the full effect to truly be the kind of practitioner I wanted to be: Authentic.
That’s why I married him. Leif always has a way of looking at the positive side of things. He was right, I wasn’t in huge trouble like needing an intervention but I was definitely running with scissors. He said God isn’t going to let me fall instead he is going to raise me up even higher for having the courage to finally face my demons and get it right! It took the opiates to finally make me see that although I found sobriety I was in no way sober.
I had developed an addiction to Opiates following gallbladder surgery in July 2010. I had suffered for years with neck, back and leg pain and the Percocet they prescribed for after the surgery brought me extraordinary relief in those areas. When I told my physician he sent me for an MRI and it was discovered I had a progressive form of arthritis in my cervical vertebrae. The pain meds brought me incredible relief! Before then, I had never taken a pain pill stronger than Tylenol 3, I just didn’t want to take them. I was a drinker and you can’t drink if you’re taking pain meds so, I didn’t bother, I suffered instead. With the Percocet I felt alive again, I felt like I was on top of the world! I was teaching and I could go all day! I was finally sleeping good, I was so happy and my depression was lifting! It was utterly amazing how great I felt, it was literally the best time of my life. I quit drinking, quit smoking, I lost 35 pounds and I was getting healthy! All was good ………untiI I ran out of pills one day.
When I began the 10 week coaching course Richard had said something that I didn’t quite understand at the time. He told us all that we have a Divine Appointment being here in this class, meaning that there is someone in this classroom that will make a profound effect on my life. Looking around the room I didn’t think so, in fact there was someone in there that I had a past problem with. He went on to say that possibly this opportunity had presented itself in other ways in the past and we didn’t take the chance. He said that if we were running late today or was still on the fence about taking the class we would have missed it again! All I can think of now is OMG I would have missed all of THIS! Back then though, after meeting the initial group I thought the only Divine appointment I would be having was to kick someone’s ass. Other than that, I didn’t think there were any messages for me. In reality, there were 3.
After finishing Life Coaching I began Hypnotherapy. Our teacher Linda Bennett is probably the foremost authority on not only hypnosis but the subconscious mind. The classes that are involved in hypnotherapy basically deal with the brain and how it works and “why” we take actions we do. I learned we also heal on a Soul level with Past Life Regression, Subconscious Intervention, and Spirit Release. There are a host of other things that really get into your head and soul and unlock those barriers keeping you trapped in negative ways. It’s a total mind blow but probably the single most profound concept I have ever discovered. I know some people say it’s bunk but let me tell you…the miracles it performed on me are nothing short of amazing. I felt bad I was transitioning off the Oxy onto a new medicine when I began her classes, it was incredibly challenging but exactly where I needed to be. In each stage of my recovery I began a new class that coincided with the program. I believe it was nothing short of Divine intervention. Bit by bit, piece by piece I began to understand why I have the problems I do, and how to correct them.
That is what I want to bring to my clients; the keys to being healthy in whatever way it means to you. We each have our demons; be it drugs, food, sex, money, men, women, gambling, etc. Each of us gravitates to those particular items for a particular reason. The key to honest to goodness recovery from any of those addictions and more is getting down and digging deep all the way into the subconscious and unlocking that box that is holding the information needed to be discovered. Until then, you will never be truly healed. That initial sensitizing event, the situation that caused the belief that you needed that particular addiction to feel better has to be found. If not, you will keep making the same choices and repeating the same behavior over and over again. It’s a different type of therapy. Until you find out “why” you will never know the ‘how”.
I am Stepping Up and Stepping Out into the Light by sharing this with you. I feel better being open and knowing that possibly someone will read this today that will need the same kind of help I did. This kind of work is never done, there is always something to be working on.
Thank you for reading my blog!! Please feel free to comment and share experiences you have had in any of these areas!