You Become Who You Decide To BE!

WOW! This was very powerful for me~! Years of thought and figuring have been summed up in a matter of minutes. And I mean yyyeeeaaarrrsssss…..this has been the week of AWAKENING for Kristen. We go to a non-denominational church here in the valley every Sunday and the pastor had a very powerful message today, as always. He said that “We are the sum of all of our decisions”. We made a particular choice every step of the way in life to get to where we are right now! Every single step was made by us, calculated by us, decided by us, and fulfilled by us. “You are on the path to somewhere, when you are doing your path.”

I really let that set in. I can’t remember the exact analogy he used but it was similar to a man crossing the street and the series of events it took for this man to actually cross the street. Like taking a step, lifting one leg, then the other, turning right, turning left, etc. It was many small precise steps that equaled one large endeavor; crossing the street. He went on to say that is how our life is; we make very precise decisions to get to where we are today. To get from her to there, there is a series of events that have to taker place. There is no waking up and asking “How the hell did I get here?”  We know…we know how we got there. Whether be it using drugs, stealing money, or being unfaithful we made every decision. Whatever it is You/I/We knew EXACTLY what we were doing each and EVERY step of the WAY.  Even if we want to lie to ourselves and believe we were seduced or taken against our will, something happened in those events that we made a choice to be there, no matter how small. When we open ourselves up to even the smallest of opportunities we also open ourselves to the largest of circumstances. Good, bad, or indifferent. 

I have been in SO many predicament’s asking myself repeatedly either catastrophically drunk or agonizingly hung over:

• How the hell did I get here?
• What the hell did I do to deserve this?
• What the F*** was I thinking?
• What is wrong with me?
• Why do I do this to myself?
• Why does everyone hate me?
• God has it in for me!!

Ok, I’ll admit, even when I was sober I still asked some of the same questions…I’d be so overwhelmed with either guilt or surprise that I’d look for anyTHING or anyONE to blame it on. I’d blame my parents, my childhood, my ex boyfriend, a teacher, a bystander – anything to save myself from the stark realization that I have been the total demise of my life. I couldn’t stand to bear the fact that I could do this to myself. What was my motivation?Why would I create such a cluster****!! So much darkness, so much pain, and  so much self destruction….Why??

Well, for a long time I didn’t know. I’ll be honest up until Wednesday I still didn’t know. I thought I did, but after that hypnosis session on Wednesday I realized that it was the path I created was for my own lessons to learn, and the ultimate lesson was LOVE. In order for me to experience Love in it’s fullness and achieve the spiritual growth I desire, I had to work for it. Sometimes, the work is unpleasant yet everything worth having requires work we don’t quite want to do. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. I must have HUGE plans for myself in the Heavens after this life time because I tell you, I have done the work!

I’m ok with it now though, I Became Who I Decided To BE! I became HER in order to fulfill my life purpose. When I look back it all makes sense, and I have released the remaining parts of me that I was holding on to. I know this trip isn’t over but for the first time ever I am excited to be on it! I don’t worry like I used to. This week has changed me forever and for the good. I feel so grateful to be able to heal myself AND have a career that I can help others heal themselves! It’s a beautiful week!

I invite you to look at your life, what sense can you make of your it?

Who Did You Decide To Become?

In Light,

Kristen

 

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What are We Praying for, Exactly, When We Pray?

I was just on Facebook and a friend was asking for prayers for his wife’s mother. She is being prepared for surgery again after still having some complications from a fall. In situations like this and others what do you pray for? I always prayed that they would live and everything would be perfect again. I prayed for the best to happen. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do, expect Miracles? That’s what I thought and that’s what I always did. But, I learned something in school and that is “What is the Best Intention for the Person?” I know what my best intentions are; that that this person hurries up and heals and no one has to suffer the experience of anyone dying or being permanently disabled in some way. But what about the person in question, what is best for them?

To me that sounded kind of crazy originally because I was thinking why wouldn’t this person want to heal and get better? Did they want to die? That had nothing to do with it, this goes back to Soul Contracts and our time here on Earth as a human. On my website I discuss Soul Contracts and in brief review, it is how long you planned to be here on earth as a human with all the things that you wanted to experience in order to progress in Heaven to your final resting place. It also leaves some space for things to occur naturally in the world, as things do. We planned to be here, complete with all the misery and all the good. Every broken heart, every fall, every disaster, and all the pain that went with it. It’s hard to imagine that we would do this to ourselves but trust me, we did. We also planned the good things, and good friends and while things do happen that are our of our control, what we call Acts of God, for the most part you called it. Now here is a big pill to swallow, you even chose your parents….. I know, I know many of you are shaking your head saying you wouldn’t abuse yourself that way but here is a comforting thought…..Your children chose you!

Anyway, when we are faced with tragedy such as a horrible car accident or an illness we automatically tend to pray that they heal and live forever. But those prayers are for us so we don’t have to suffer and grieve. They aren’t for the person hurt. We don’t know where they are in their Soul Contract and this may be deterring the inevitable. Case in point, and I have many but we will go with this one, my husbands’ friend recently died in a motorcycle accident. It was horrific; the bike was smashed to pieces, torn apart, and he left behind a beautiful wife and 2 little boys. It was an awful thing to have happen so young in life to loose your life and leave behind a young little family. Here is the kicker – he got in a motorcycle accident less that 9 months beforehand and the doctors and surgeons worked like mad to patch him back together so he would live. Guess what, it was meant to be and this time the accident was bad enough that it would happen. When God calls us back, He calls us back.

This is when people ask “But where is God, he allowed this terrible thing to happen!” “I’m never going to church again, I’m giving up on God because he doesn’t do anything for me!” I have said those words and more because I had no belief in anything. What I did  learn is that God is there to help the injured or sick person through transition and welcome them on the other side at the end of “their” journey. Great celebration takes place on the other side. Family and friends who have passed, including pets, are coming to welcome them home. It is a joyous event, everyone is talking, high fiving, milling around, catching up on what’s new….They look back at us smiling because they know in not too long you will be there too. They know you’re sad but once it is your time and you transition you will remember and they will come for you!!

This is where God comes in for us. He is there to help us, the ones left behind, deal with the loss. He is there to ease the pain and get us back on our feet. We may not feel or see Him, but He is there. That is the true Miracle; that we go on with our lives as we had designed with Him. It is more important that we finish what we came here to do, than taking too long to grieve. We may be cursing Him yet He forgives us because we can’t remember. He is literally working a Miracle of healing in your heart trying to bring us understanding and acceptance. That is why all of a sudden you feel better one day and are able to move on. It took me a very long time to understand this but I finally got it.

Now when I pray I pray for the best possible outcome as prescribed by God and the person in question. I pray that whatever is meant to be will be. It is the hardest thing I have had to but then I remember incidents like my husbands’ friends’ motorcycle accident and others I knew like him. I am reminded that nothing in this world is about me and what I think should be, it is all about Spirit and our Greater Purpose. Next time you pray for someone try truly praying for them and see how you feel afterwards. God is everywhere, truly working Miracles in every way, every day! To All that Is….

Blessings,

Kristen