Heart to Heart Relationship Recovery Institute Announces New Show!!

Welcome to Heart to Heart with Leif and Kristen Burkhardt – Hanson talking with guests about the diversity they face in their relationships. Listeners worldwide will hear courageous and inspiring stories from … couples about how they personally battled circumstances such as: alcoholism, addiction, domestic violence, Infidelity, long term illness, previous divorces and so much more!

By overcoming their own unique set of circumstances, Leif and Kristen know first-hand how these issues can either destroy a marriage or make it stronger. They believe that by going out into the community and sharing honest and intimate heart to heart conversations enlightens’ people to the possibility of healing their own problems. They will also discuss how the effect of life coaching, clinical hypnotherapy, building and relying upon a spiritual foundation was the difference between success and separation for their marriage!            

The subject matter that will be covered is what happens when one of the individuals in the relationship has any of the following circumstances either before the relationship started or it developed during:

• Alcoholism
• Addiction )drugs, sex, love, etc.)
• Abuse
• Chronic/Long Term Illness
• Infidelity
• Domestic Violence
• Unable to Set Boundaries/Unable to Speak your Truth
• Had Had a Divorce, or a Few Divorces
• Is part of a Step Family
• Has Low Self Esteem/Self Worth

Have you or anyone in the immediate family come down with a long term sickness/sudden health change?

• Cancer
• Heart Attack
• Autoimmune
• Alzheimer’s
• Parkinson’s
• Stroke
• Etc..

One or both partners have a history of:

• Sexual abuse
• Childhood abuse
• Sexual assault
• Domestic violence
• Anger issues
• Lying/Narcissistic tendencies

Additional thoughts:

• How did faith play a role?
• What happens when these issues come up and have you handled it?
• Did anyone receive counseling?
• Are they still ongoing?
• What is the residual damage?

Other topics that may be intertwined:

• Have you been divorced and is this a second, third, or more marriage?
• Blending families where one of the new members has any of the above issues?
• Is there ongoing problems with the ex-spouse, the children?
• Is there/ has there been domestic violence in the home?

Show Agenda:

Each show will have different guests with a different topic.

There will be the opportunity for listeners World Wide to call in and participate and share their stories or learn how to make changes within themselves. This will involve intimate conversations between Leif, Kristen and the couple regarding the situation:

• What was it?
• Who was involved?
• What was happening during this time?
• What were your thoughts, fears, actions?
• What made you decide to get help, what course did you take, how did you feel about that?
• How are you now, what has changed, what are you still working on?
• What is your outlook, what words of wisdom do you have for others in a similar situation?
• Plus much more!

Join Heart to Heart with the Hansons weekly at 7 pm Sunday Evenings, click on the link right below us:

http://radio.hearttoheartrri.com

If you’re interested in being a GUEST on the show please click on the link below to go to the Heart to Heart website for the show application!

Heart to Heart Relationship Recovery Institute

http://www.hearttoheartrri.com

 

 

 

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Relationship Coaching

As Leif and I really step out into this ministry we are seeing more and more of a need for Relationship Coaching. SO MANY couples are in crisis right now be it financially, physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, etc. The past 5-6 years for most of us have been exceptionally difficult because of the economy and the amount of loss many of us have suffered. While we have been busy trying to repair our credit, our lives, our families, and our careers we haven’t done anything about our marriage or partnership! We just don’t put enough emphasis on it and think that it will all work itself out in the end. That end MAY be divorce court!

By NOT acknowledging what IS happening, right now, will end you up in divorce court. I know, and so does my “new” husband because we are both divorced. It isn’t anything I would recommend for anyone unless you have a situation that obviously calls for it. If you think you have experienced loss with the economy and your career, it fails in comparison to what you loose through divorce especially if you have children.

The number one thing I see today with couples is the FEAR to to COMMUNICATE about your commitment with each other. I don’t mean just the basic day to day conversation, I mean sitting down face to face, and having a CONVERSATION with each other about your feelings, concerns, ideas, and where this is going. Not yelling, not blaming, not finger pointing, and making excuses but TALKING, albeit passionately, about what is important to you and how you feel. When was the last time you had a conversation with your other half and really asked how their day was and truly cared? Or asked what you both would like to do in the next year, or 5 years, or even Saturday night?

Instead, we turn to friends, co-workers, family, the delivery guy and anyone else who has an ear. Anyone that is able to tolerate us telling the same story over and over again about how unhappy we are with our partner and if they would just do this one thing every thing would be ok bla, bla, bla!! UGH! How many of you do this? I did, for 17 years…and so did my current husband for 20 years!! His best friend told him “Look, until you deal with this, stop talking about it!” Alrighty then….’nough said.

What’s wrong with that picture?

While many of those people mean well with their advice, however, do they have your best intentions at heart? Do they not like your partner and use this opportunity to infiltrate their own agenda? Are they after your partner and are using this all as helpful information? What is their own relationship status like, what makes then an authority? Be careful who you share your dirty laundry with because there may be people looking to start trouble. Keep your family business between you and your family, always.

Now, I know that our partners may not be easy to talk with and often a simple discussion turns into a screaming match. It’s because BOTH of you are exhausted and frustrated. Both of you are like a match and when the other opens their mouth that is the fire to spark it. What once was a simple hello can quickly turn into a giant F*** Y**! The same argument surfaces time and time gain with each of you yelling louder and LOUDER so desperate to be heard!! You both just want to be heard and acknowledged, and the other won’t budge…you both HAVE to be right..sound familiar?

Yet we live in the same house together. We may not be in the same bed or share meals but we are in the house still….so….there may be a chance to turn this thing around. If not, then let’s get that out in the open as well. No sense on sitting on a divorce if that is where your heart truly lays. Coaching can also be a safe place to bring it up AND you may find the other person has been feeling the same way. or, you may find that it is an open window to begin dialogue.

Being a divorced couple, we know first hand the stresses couples face. We both were in long term marriages, we both have children, and we both thought we would never get divorced yet we both were the ones to file for the divorce. We understand your plight, we understand the complexity and we have been through MANY circumstances in our marriages and with each other and can address certain private matters safely and discreetly. It doesn’t matter your age, sexual orientation, race, or religion we all face challenges.

In an effort to expand our business and bring awareness to the world about the power of COACHING we are offering 2 couples a unique opportunity to enter your partnership into Relationship Coaching! You and your partner are eligible to receive 3 (THREE) 90 minute coaching sessions with my husband and I for 3 weeks. This way both sides feel represented and it isn’t 2 against 1! That is ONE session a week for THREE weeks. If you are interested please read the following and apply! We will be accepting applications for the next 5 days until March 11 and you will notified by email by March 13 if you were selected.

The Program

Are you LIVING AUTHENTICALY in your current relationship? Being AUTHENTIC means being who you truly are inside and outside of your relationship. That when you are either with your partner or out in the world you don’t have to change hats, you can truly be your happy and expressive self! You encourage each other to grow and expand. You nurture each other and take interest in their interests. You’re explorative and want to be adventurous. Being AUTHENTIC is not stifling your partners growth or possibilities while learning to create your own.

Does any of the following ring true for you with your partner:

• Have a spiritual connection.
• MUTUALLY satisfying sexual connection.
• Happy, successful, and growing TOGETHER!
• Truly able to express your love FREELY and without reserve.
• Share common goals, plans, desires!
• Happy to see each other at the end of the day!
• Have a direction that you are going in!
• Building a strong family foundation.
• Encouraging the other to follow their dreams.
• Being YOURSELF in all ways!

Or

• Lack of spiritual connection to each other
• Your partner doesn’t seem to understand you.
• You feel scared to talk about your true feelings.
• You feel humiliated in front of your partner.
• Your sex life is not satisfying.
• There is no sex life.
• You want to experience new things and they don’t.
• One or both of you have had an affair.
• Your growing apart and in different directions.
• Bringing up the past, playing the blame game.
• One of you is chronically ill.
• Parenting differences.

Why Coaching and not Therapy?

In certain circumstances traditional therapy does have its place. Relationship Coaching works differently than traditional therapy by not concentrating on the past but how do we move forward from here! The PAST IS OVER and we can’t go back and change it! So let it GO! If both members are willing, Relationship Coaching can help breath fresh, EXCITING life into a tired, worn out union! Traditional therapy keeps us in the “why”. Coaching is about action and we don’t care about the ‘why” we are concerned with the “how” and the “what”? How do we move forward and what steps do we take? That is coaching.

Directions

If you are interested in turning your current relationship around please send me and email at kristen@sacredcircleministry.com  with the basis if the problem you are having, your concerns and your desired result. This will be for 3 90 minute sessions, for 3 weeks. You both will be required to be present and have a desire to DO the work – no matter how dark and messy, and be willing to be vulnerable. BIG changes are going to occur! We are primarily looking for couples who would seriously benefit from this experience but could otherwise not afford it. To find out more about Leif and I and how we Coach visit us at www.scaredcircleministry.com and learn how we can help you!!

Thank you and Blessings Abound!

~Kristen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Power of Hypnosis

Being a Hypnotherapist I am fortunate to be a part of a client’s spiritual awakening or personal discovery. I love that aspect of being a part of their process and how they allow me to be there, facilitating this incredible journey! What a blessing I have! Well, yesterday I went to go see my teacher, Linda Bennett at South West Institute of Healing Arts. I was ready to experience Hypnosis on a higher level. I have been having some residual issues in my life and I wanted them gone. I was able to process out most of my problems through schooling but a few little things are still hanging on. We are never truly “done” healing in life. Linda is our mentor, teacher, and person who painted the picture of the power of Hypnosis. She has been studying and doing Hypnotherapy for about 25 years I believe. She is truly a magical, Spiritual Be-Ing.

Now, when I met Linda I was a bit intimidated. I was so new to all this kind of spiritual work I felt like a fish way out of water. I began my Hypnosis classes scratching my head thinking “I just don’t get this”. Linda would kindly say “Don’t worry, you will”. I kept waiting for that day even into Hypno III. I couldn’t grasp my mind around how the Subconscious worked right away and how we have the ability to access the information stored there from this life time and the previous ones. To become a Clinical Hypnotherapist you need to have 300 hours of classes in various techniques and styles. You also have to attain the knowledge of what to do during sessions if something goes wrong. Not that it goes “wrong” per say but people can have abreactions, or things that happen to them during a session. They may cry, they may call out, they may get up, they may do all kinds of things. We just don’t know ahead of time so we have to be prepared to handle these situations. There are a lot of classes we have to take in preparation for our certification:

• Past Life Regression
• Fears, Phobias, Addictions
• Subconscious Intervention
• Spirit Release
• Pain Management
• Weight Management
• Smoking Cessation
• Script Writing
• Dreams and Metaphors
• Hypnosis Clinic

In these classes we all get to practice on each other and while it’s beneficial it isn’t the same as getting a professional session. I had great moments of self discovery and healing, I still lacked that A-HA moment. When I originally booked my appointment with Linda I decided to work on some business blocks I had. At the last minute I decided to work these other things. In true Hypnosis fashion we don’t talk about the story just the symptom and how it is currently showing up in my life. What is happening when these feelings are occurring and what reactions do they bring up for me? That’s it, nothing more, and a few minutes later I’m stretched out on the chair in a light trance. She took me through Past Life Regression where I went through 3 lifetimes (that is some crazy stuff right there) and how these feeling’s effected me in those lifetimes. She was regressing me back and back in time to find out where the Original Sensitizing Event (OSE) occurred, the moment that my Subconscious mind became aware of these feelings. What caused it? When did first have those feelings? We couldn’t find it in those lifetimes, but we found the same reactions I was having.

Linda regressed me back to the beginning of THIS lifetime, and I saw myself, other spirits and she had me ask them what was my purpose here this time? What lessons did I plan on learning? I saw myself in spirit form it is incredibly crazy to see yourself and others like that. It was so amazing and breathtaking to see what the Other Side looks like!! I have seen glimpses, I have seen spirits, and I have had my Guides speak to me bit NOTHING compared to this, I still can’t believe what I saw…and how we communicated! That is for a different day.

After a series of events and questions it came down to the fact of me wanting to experience Love, I wanted to know what Love was. So I designed events that would cause me to learn that no matter what Love, is all that matters. If you don’t understand what that means read the book The Little Soul by Neale Donald Walsh, it explains everything in detail.

My life has been filled with so much pain, my heart broken again and again and I always wondered what kind of mess did I get myself into in this lifetime? The experiences I had that caused my heart to break caused me to experience unpleasant  feelings about a lot of things. I was beginning to question myself, question Spirit, question this whole existence. I was a strong, intelligent women with these silly issues hanging around. I discovered I am at the height of my Spiritual awakening and now is when everything will make sense. It is my understanding that before we come down here (earth or this realm) we sit with our Creator, the Angels, and our Spirit Guides to discuss and plan our Spiritual Purpose. We all have a purpose, no one has been born in vain, We may have gotten side tracked, we may have been led off our path but Spirit ALWAYS finds a way to bring us back. That nagging feeling about things, that sudden shift in thought, that brilliant new idea, that waking up in the morning deciding to do something different feeling is all Spirit getting your attention!! I thought I was lost forever. For years I felt like my life was a mistake, I felt like a joke and I felt like there was no way in the world I could ever be happy. I felt like I was being punished for something I didn’t know about. For al the work I have done in the past year and a half I still felt insecure and part of me was feeling undeserving. Why? Why couldn’t I shake those remaining feelings? What I found out during that session was I am exactly where I need to be…

That is the power of Hypnosis. In a 60 minute session we went into 3 lifetimes, up to the Heavens 2 times and had a little chit chat with my Guides and other helpful spirits,and back down to earth for the final wrap up. I wasn’t ready before yesterday, I wasn’t in the right place to hear those words that were told to me. To see Spirit on the other side; so pure, so clean and so full of love was just the medicine my little heart needed. Not only do I know why I have had these residual feelings, but I also know my life purpose and WHY I have had the life I do. I essentially planned it that way. When I saw myself on the Other Side in spirit form I was an amazingly excited spirit to come down here. We were all hooping and hollering and getting ready for the journey. My Guides reminded me of my decisions before coming here, and it warmed my heart and I was moved to tears. It gave me the courage I needed to keep going and doing the work of helping others discovering these amazing possibilities. Thank you Linda……

What a blessing! I am charged up and ready to go! I just wanted to share what a recent hypnosis session can be like. They aren’t all the same, but they can certainly bring something to the table we did not know before. It can be an intimidating or perplexing thought to go inside our Subconscious and root around for answers and ideas.Having the ability to be open minded, having a facilitator you can trust, and have the willingness to ACCEPT what you learn can be the key to turning your life around in ways that nothing else can. I invite you to be daring, to be excited, and to be willing to see what has been missing from your life!!

In light

Kristen

 

Trust

How trusting are you in your life? Do you feel insecure and have low self esteem? Do you get jealous easily? Do you feel like you can’t believe what people tell you? Have you been cheated on and lied to? What led you to not having trust in your life? Would you be interested in learning how to get it back, even if it meant some hard work?

I have had problems with trust for as long as I can remember. I think it comes from my childhood and living in such an unstable environment. My father was an alcoholic and he literally drank every day of my life until I was 18 years old. I never felt stable, or secure, I always felt uneasy and not knowing what was going to happen next. Those memories haunt me until today. I say haunts because my memories feel like ghosts just hanging out that I can’t send back to the light.

Growing up a I had a few boyfriends but one guy became the love of my life as a teenager. I never really had anyone to love or say “I love you’ to me like that. I felt like love was something I would never experience so when he told me that he loved me I believed him. We were together for a few years. We were two peas in a pod and totally inseparable. Then he cheated on me, not once but several times. He even cheated on me with my best friend and probably more people than I care to know. I forgave him, and I forgave him again. My friends and family thought I was crazy but I thought if I loved him enough he wouldn’t cheat on me. I felt like it was all my fault. I did everything I could; I always dressed nice, I kept myself thin, I was athletic, I was very sexual and adventurous, and I always thought of him first. None of it mattered. He was a cheater and I found out that 30 years later he is still is….. and he has a 3rd wife.

I had a string of just less than good relationships that I am not even going to go into. But the final straw was when I dated another guy who was also an alcoholic he also slept with ANOTHER friend of mine. The hits just kept coming. I felt like the biggest LOSER God ever created so I packed up my stuff and moved to California. That’s when I really got into trouble, that’s when I really started with the drugs. I did not want to feel anything or anyone I just wanted to be as stoned, as stoned could be. No lie, I just packed it up and shipped it out. I had enough of Detroit and I was moving on.

I was lonely and desperate using drugs at an early age because I needed comfort. I needed a safe place to fall. I also looked to men for that comfort and while I was fun for them to play around with, they fell short on the commitment side. I truly was looking for love in all the wrong places. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong with these men!  What I learned later was the choices in men that I made, not what I did wrong. I was so far down emotionally I wasn’t in the right mindset to place value on myself. I didn’t know I was really a good person and deserved to be treated nicely and with respect. I thought I deserved all of the mistreatment I had received.

I kicked the drugs and came back to Michigan, and I met my first husband. Out of the frying pan and RIGHT into the fire. I thought he was my knight in shining armor, he was an older guy, good looking, had plenty of money and loved to party. I married him and while he was always faithful and never cheated on me, his verbal abuse killed off any self esteem and security I had left. After a few years into the relationship I felt so bad about myself I didn’t believe anyone would want me. I dove deeper and deeper into alcohol desperately trying to kill any nerve ending that was exposed so I would not have to feel any more pain. I would drink myself to sleep every night until I passed out, I couldn’t stand to be awake. There were times I still prayed for death because death would have been so much better.

After the divorce I had NO trust or faith in men or women. I didn’t have any hope in myself or even in my outlook. I was truly hope-less. I worked a job every day, struggled to feed my kids, and just still prayed for death because that would be the relief I so desperately needed from this life. Then things began to change. I met a man, who is now my husband, who had equally the same amount of damage but in different ways. We had a long distance relationship so we spent HOURS talking on the phone about our lives, our marriages, and our situations. Gradually, through sharing stores and developing a relationship we began to heal big chunks of ourselves.

Fast forward today and I am much stronger and healthier than what I was…except for one little thing. Trust. I still can not seem to let myself trust on a level that would allow me to live a much more meaningful life. I worry, I get in my own way, and I wish it would stop. I wish I could just wake up and ENJOY the day and not have these worries and thoughts. I wish I could feel more confident.

I have found great strength much improvement through Hypnotherapy, in particular Subconscious Intervention. By way of hypnotic trance I was actually able to go back and have a conversation with my father and ask him questions about why he was the way he was. I found our he was doing the best he could based on the information he had at the time. He had his own problems in childhood and he truly was acting out of what he knew. Just like I did, I was drunk almost every single day of my kids lives until they were 16, so I understood. I also learned that the men in my life who hurt me did so because I allowed it. I had co-dependency issues, love addiction, alcoholism, and I was a mess! I hug out with people who were in the same boat as me.

Thee are so many healing possibilities with Hypnotherapy! If you are ready to take a step forward in your life and begin to look at these ghosts you have hanging around, Hypnotherapy offers so many different ways of achieving that. Please visit my website at http://sacredcircleministry.com and look into the Hypnotherapy area. You can learn ways to release those feelings and gain incredible insight into your life. No matter how far down you are, and I was down, you can get back up again, you can have a beautiful life!!

The damage did not get there over night and it will not leave over night. I know there are many of you with stories similar and much worse than mine. I believe by sharing my stories I will show that there are ways to get better, ways you may not have ever thought about. If you or someone you know is having problems moving forward in life, please send them to my website! Thank you!

In light,

Kristen

 

7 Ways to Begin a Spiritual Foundation

I am preparing for a presentation in my Universal Laws class tonight and the “7 Laws” is my presentation piece. It’s been no secret I have had a difficult time connecting to a spiritual foundation even though I had become a minister. I just knew that is what I had to do and the rest would follow. My job is to help others connect to their spiritual-ness, and not really be concerned about my own. People say “Well, how can you teach someone what you don’t even know yourself?” I said “Easily, I  don’t have to have the answers, I only have to have the questions.” As a Life Coach or a minister it isn’t my job to tell anyone what to believe, it is simply my privilege to ask powerful questions and hold space while my clients contemplate their meaning of spirituality. It’s a beautiful position to be in, that’s for sure. If I were in Ego, or in my head worrying about not having all the answers, I would have to wait to obtain a Ph.D from Princeton Seminary before I felt ready. Trust me, the teacher for this class has just that and his knowledge runs deep and wide. At first I was intimidated now I just soak it up.

Our assignment was to create a presentation based on some of the Spiritual Laws we had studies in class or we can research and make up our own. We looked at the Course of Miracles, and nothing there resonated. I looked at the 11 Insights of the Celestine Prophecy, still no connection. We read Doreen Virtue’s break down of the Kybalion (Hermetic teachings) called Divine Magic: The 7 Sacred Secrets of Manifestation and while it was great, they weren’t speaking to me. However, for a Doreen Virtue book that one really clued me into some energetic and Universal factors I didn’t know. I looked further into several other beliefs and nothing seemed to fit at all and then I came across Deepak Chopra’s “7 Keys to Success”. Now, don’t get too excited because I found at least 55 different versions of this online, including at least 5 from Deepak himself! There are the 7 Laws of Success, 7 Laws of Spiritual Success, 7 Laws of Spirituality, and the 7 Laws of Being Spiritually  Successful. No lie.

It’s the same core concepts but with different twist each time. It isn’t bad it just show’s Mr. Chopra’s advancement in his own spiritual growth. The laws themselves have held the test of time, and I thought maybe they would work for me.  So, I just picked this version and decided to change it up like everyone else has to fit my own interpretation. Once I got into it though it really made a  profound impact on me, I really resonated with the laws in relation to my own  growth. I added my own personal spin and made them unique to me.

The Universe is full of energy and it is attracted to other things that have energy. Have you heard of The Laws of Attraction? It means that what we give thought or action to (energy)  is the outcome we will have.  What you give attention to attracts energy for the Universe. We want to be highly vibrating individuals but often we aren’t, we are full of darkness and things that don’t allow us to shine. We vibrate at the lowest levels, far away from the universe so we don’t get any of the good effects it offers. By building a spiritual foundation we begin to vibrate, higher and higher and each time we take a step we get better. As we get better and heal a piece of us rises to join the Universe. We are now building a direct link and we begin an exchange with the Universe and our life begins to turn around.

Deepak Chopra’s 7 Keys to Success

Step 1. The Law of Pure Potentiality: “The source of all creation is pure consciousness… pure potentiality seeking expression from the un-manifest to the manifest. And when we realize that our true Self is one of pure potentiality, we align with the power that manifests everything in the universe.”

*Our first step on our spiritual journey is accepting ourselves exactly as we are. By discovering our “True” self  and know who you really are, it’s in the “knowing” that you have the ability to fulfill any dream you wish. When we were born we were born with pure potential, we had the ability to make manifest anything we wanted. But Ego and mankind influenced our thoughts and ideas. We began to “think” we knew what was good for us, and not trust the Universe. By removing what we think, and our Ego, and accepting ourselves fully for who we are is when we will begin our spiritual journey.

Step 2: The Law of Giving: “The universe operates through dynamic exchange of giving and receiving. They are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe. And in our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.“

* When we are in darkness; being abused, being addicted or experiencing anything that takes away our Light we aren’t able to give or to receive. By getting into service and doing for others we begin the energy exchange, albeit a small one, it is action. It takes our focus off ourselves and puts it on those who need it. When we gain strength and begin to build upon that giving, we raise our vibrations a little more until we are eventually able to take care of ourselves. As we learn to take care of ourselves we are able to experience giving and receiving happily.

Step 3: The law of Karma: “Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind – what we sow is what we reap. And when we choose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of our karma is happiness and success.”

*What goes around, comes around. I don’t believe Karma is one big thing hanging up in the Heaven’s waiting to punish us. The Universe it is a Universal system of “like attracts like” energy. When we are not living our best life and making poor choices, poor consequences will follow. Not because someone upstairs is punishing us but because that is the natural law of energy. If there is happening over to the left be it good or bad the energy will go to the left. If something is happening on the right, the Universe picks up there is action on the right and goes there. The Universe is beyond having to decide what is right or what is wrong, it just goes where it feel’s other energy. As we learn to live our lives better we send out more positive energy thus attracting more positive energy and this results in good Karma.

Step 4: Law of Least Effort: “Nature’s intelligence functions with effortless ease  with carefreeness, harmony, and love. And when we harness the forces of harmony, joy, and love, we create success and good fortune with effortless ease.“

*As humans we were born with the  natural ability to love, have harmony and experience joy. When a new baby looks at his mother he looks at her through eyes of pure love, he doesn’t know any other way. Animals respond in much the same way. In nature, flowers don’t try to bloom, birds don’t try to fly, and humans can’t try to love. It is to be occurring naturally, but again, we get in Ego and thought, and negativity, and other emotions not serving us take over. We can actually learn to hate. Least Effort is when we love, unconditionally, lifting our vibrations so high that negativity and hate have no place. Emotions like shame, guilt, and fear can’t live in a body vibrating that high. With practice and in time we can be restored back to love, harmony, and joy and increasing our vibrations even more.

Step 5: Law of intention and Desire: “Inherent in every intention and desire is the mechanics for its fulfillment.  Intention and desire in the field of pure potentiality have infinite organizing power. And when we introduce an intention in the fertile ground of pure potentiality, we put this infinite organizing power to work for us.“

*This is what the Laws of Attraction are about; what intention we set is what action we receive. If we say we will fail a test, we will fail the test. If we say we will win the race, we will win the race. What we worry about comes true as well. What ever we give energy to in thought, happens. We do this enough and a thought can become a pattern, and a pattern can becomes a way of life. This alone can cause us to vibrate at a lower level. Set our intention high and in a good place and you will naturally attract what you want.

Step 6: Law of Detachment: “In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty. In the wisdom of uncertainty list the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe.“

*Relinquishing attachment to the end result. Attachment is based on fear and insecurities. When we try to control an outcome we have our own energy on it, so we have taken from the Universe. When we “Let Go and Let God” we are saying we trust that the outcome will be the best for us. In this case there is no good or bad, it is just an outcome. When we release our thoughts around it, the answer will always be as it should. It may not be what we want, but it is always the right answer. Think back to all the unanswered prayers you felt you didn’t receive. How many of those were a blessing in disguise?

Step 7: The Law of Dharma: “Everyone has a purpose in life a unique gift or special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.“

*Dharma, Karma. I heard of karma but never heard of dharma before this year. It literally means living the best life possible. This reminds me of the show Dharma and Greg. Most people thought she was a nut, especially Greg’s parents. Yet, she truly was the quintessential image of Dharma. She loved unconditionally, she always saw the good in people and things, she was always positive, she was compassionate, non judgmental, she was Vegan, and couldn’t hurt a fly. She saw the optimism in everything! For as messed up as her parents were on the show, they raised one hell of a kid. Imagine if we raised our kids to see the world like that and to BE in the world like that? Could you imagine the shift?

I was about having hope, hope that tomorrow is going to be a better day and that I am still alive for a reason. When God calls us back, our time here is done and our lessons have been learned. After years and years of wishing I wasn’t alive anymore I finally came to the understanding that I must have something pretty powerful to learn. My only hope now is that God will keep me around long enough to enjoy it. You may or not be a spiritual person, I certainly wasn’t and my life always ran amuck. I had one of those lives that I was all over the place, very miserable, and had no grounding force. Slowly but surely I am getting those foundations down. When we live our life by a code, or a set of rules it enables us to have something to build upon. It isn’t about being “holy” it’s about being present and ready! Feel free to take these 7 Laws of Success and alter them to your understanding!

Blessings,

~Kristen

 

10 Ways to End Gossip and Heal Your Soul!!

Have you ever had anyone gossip about you? Ever have someone spread untrue stories about you, and make your life miserable?  I believe it is an actual assault on our character and it doesn’t matter if it is true or not because it still does damage, sometimes damage that can not be repaired. When you are gossiped about your surroundings can becomes a scary place, you suddenly don’t know who you can trust and even those closest to you can become suspect. It creates fear and worry and depending on the type and amounted talk going on, it can downright ruin someone’s life. People have even been known to take their own life. Look at the stories of school kids being tormented so much they would rather die than be talked about so much. I feel that is extreme, yes, but it wasn’t to the person living it. When we choose to create lies, listen to lies, and spread lies we are actively taking a part in a person’s demise, whether we intend to or not, it is what happens.

Gossip is just like most addictive behavior; it stems from people with low self esteem and low self worth. They feel better by making people feel as bad as they do. They get a response from the pleasure part of the brain in the Limbic system, encouraging them to continue the behavior. When they make someone feel bad, they feel good. People that are addicted to gossip usually have some kind of emotional or physical challenge that doesn’t make them feel very good about themselves. It can be anything from being over weight to having acne to not being a good driver. It really doesn’t matter what the cause of it the action is, it still elicits’ the same behavior.

Now, what is unique about gossip addiction as opposed to alcohol and drug addiction is initially the substance abusing individual isn’t hurting anyone but themselves. Their dependency eventually grows until it effects everyone around them. With gossip addiction it begins as an all out war on every individual they seem worthy of their abuse. It’s only when it backfires and people become aware of them and their work does the addict feel it.  They can go long periods without feeling the direct effect of their work and often they have more than one individual that they are actively gossiping about a time. When they are finally found out it can be an incredibly explosive dramatic situation.

Gossip addicts like to recruit other people into their addiction as well, they usually look for people who have even lower self esteem than themselves. This gives the addict a sense of power and a sense of control.  They often threaten the weaker individual and question their loyalty constantly. The unsuspecting recruit is often afraid of the gossip addict, has minimal friends, and is scared to speak up for themselves or anyone else. They find a sense of safety and companionship with the addict and can act as a spy or are always on the look out to bring back news about the person they are talking about. This creates a reward response in the helper and since they are already so far down this feels good to them, that someone is noticing them and they feel loved. This is quite similar to a domestic violence situation; the abused seeks affirmation from the abuser.

The gossip addict can ultimately collect quite a few individuals in their group in a relatively short time. They are usually new in town, new at a job, or new in the area for some reason. They move from one situation to the next looking for people because they are ran out of so many other locations once they are found out about. They tend to be loners until they get their little group going.

There are varying degrees of gossip addiction and each has it’s own harmful characteristics. Some are office spy’s who love to tell the boss what everyone is up to and saying about them. There may be the community ‘watch dog’ spreading gossip about the neighbors and what goes on in their homes. It could be at the kids school; meddling staff with information they aren’t supposed to share. Other parents who gossip are within their clicks. It can even be in your own family with a member who just has it out for you, everyone is afraid to confront them because of their bullying behavior. It doesn’t matter where it is or who it is, it is the damage that they feel compelled to create in order to feel better about themselves. In the United state it is an overwhelming amount of gossip addiction. 1 in every 3 people have a problem with keeping their mouths shut! Have you seen Facebook? The celebrity gossip shows? Your neighborhood? Your workplace??

My question is who is responsible for their actions? Who is responsible for the fall out they cause? Depending on what the gossip is about someone may lose their job, which could result in complete financial devastation and even homelessness.  It can cause severe problems in a family that marriages and family bonds can be broken forever. Parents can be threatened to have their kids taken away. Don’t scoff I know someone that is happening to right now and she is having a lawsuit against them. Ex-spouses partners sometimes start gossip; they feel betrayed, left out, or dumped and lash out not realizing the damage they are doing is ultimately to their own children.

How do you get a gossip addict to treatment? Good question, I haven’t found a treatment center yet, I say yet because it may be a possibility. Until then there are a few things you can do to protect yourself and not set yourself up to be gossiped about. If you personally feel that you are being gossiped about or your reputation and ethics are being discussed you have the right to know. By getting to the core of the situation quickly and effectively can hopefully negate a bulk of the damage.

One point I would like to stress deeply:

If you know that someone  that is being talked about in negative and potentially hurtful ways, please find a way to let the person know what is happening immediately. Keeping silent is no different than the gossiper.

Ask the person in question whether the stories are true, don’t take opinions and thoughts of others as truth. We don’t know their agenda, we don’t know why they are speaking these things. If children are repeating information, and it is not a child abuse situation, ask one or both of the parents if the story is true! Taking the word of a child with out asking the parents for confirmation can only lead to deeper problems. Children can have their own motive for causing trouble too. I learned that in one of my classes, especially in divorce cases.

10 Ways to End Gossip and Heal Your Soul

1. First of all take a good look at yourself. Is anything they are saying have an air of truth to it? Are you always late for work? Do you take advantage of your friends? Are you disrespectful to family members? Take an emotional inventory on yourself and see if you are giving anyone a reason to be talking.

2. Clean up your act. If you have pieces of information just hanging out there online, clean up your digital dirt. Anything you have done online can still be found. Don’t give anyone any unnecessary fuel. DO NOT advertise your family or personal problems online. Don’t announce you’re fighting with your partner, you hate your job or boss, or how you hate your family. Just keep it light….keep it social.

3.  Don’t gossip yourself. Mind your own business, and make sure your family does the same. If there are children in the home instruct them to not talk about personal matters that go on in your home, especially between the parents. If mom and dad are having problems that is not the information to share with others.

3. If other family members or ex spouses/partners are ASKING for information from the kids, remind your children that personal matters between the parents such as the relationship, arguing,  finances, and other things are not to be discussed with others. If the children feel that they are always being pumped for information ask them to tell you first and you will handle it because you are an adult.

5. If it is made known to you that the children are being asked for information address the situation immediately!  Make it known that this behavior will not be tolerated for any reason. If it continues then set a consequence and stick to it. Make sure the children aren’t “in trouble” with the other parent over this.

6. At the workplace, always conduct yourself accordingly and don’t feed the fire. Do your best always, don’t be late, don’t take people’s food, and don’t talk about your boss or management to anyone! Keep your area clean and efficient, be sure to be a positive team member, and honor the rules of the workplace. Don’t show up thinking the rules don’t apply to you and you can get away with things. Cute only goes so far, especially with other women. Keep your mouth shut and do your best.

7. Make it known that you are aware of talk going on and you are on a mission to find out who it is from and what it is in regards to. I know some professionals may say to just let it go, and that may work some of the time, but often it just keeps getting worse. Like with bullying, if you don’t address it, the damage may not  be repairable later. Once you make it known you know, people begin to get really nervous and it may inadvertently “out’ the perpetrator.

8. Be prepared. Often gossip involves lies stemming from people who think they know something, or have been told something they think is the truth. Of course it has been salted and peppered along the way so it may be really skewed by the time it reaches you. What may have been one single circumstance has grown into a nightmare of epic proportion. It may be painful that anyone even believed that about you, and didn’t ask you first, they just believed it…..

9. The gossip may be turn out to be true. The result of your past and a life you have left far behind is now showing up. It may be twisted a little and exaggerated or parts changed but you still recognize it as being true. Well, at least it is out now. It is no more a secret. Depending on the severity of it and the circumstances involved it may involve some painful conversations you hadn’t planned on yet, if ever.  You can enlist a professional to help you with that process, if necessary.

A Coach can bring in a whole family and allow for open and honest dialogue in a safe and loving manner. Before you get too upset know that we have all done things we are not proud of and many of us are NOT the same person we were before. You may find it incredibly healing to address the truth and deal with it properly. Sometimes the things we think are the worst, often aren’t as bad as we imagined.

10. Moving forward. After the smoke has cleared and the truth is out and all the people involved are discovered you can look at all the cards laid out on the table, so to speak. Working with a Life Coach can help you not only heal from the experience but learn from it. What type of lesson has this taught us? How has our Soul benefitted? You may find tremendous relief to release this burden and finally let it go. Forgive yourself, find it in your heart to forgive those who played a part. You don’t have to invite them back into your life, but don’t keep them bound to you by holding a grudge.

Going through a process like this may seem daunting and people are always tempted to sweep things under the rug. Sweeping things under the rug just results in a bigger lump under the rug, it doesn’t go anywhere, it just keeps getting bigger. Taking back control of your life and showing there is accountability for negative actions taken against you is often enough to stop the behavior. This continues to build our self esteem and self worth, it opens dialogue with people in ways that can bring healing and happiness to your life again.

Blessings!

Kristen

 

What are We Praying for, Exactly, When We Pray?

I was just on Facebook and a friend was asking for prayers for his wife’s mother. She is being prepared for surgery again after still having some complications from a fall. In situations like this and others what do you pray for? I always prayed that they would live and everything would be perfect again. I prayed for the best to happen. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do, expect Miracles? That’s what I thought and that’s what I always did. But, I learned something in school and that is “What is the Best Intention for the Person?” I know what my best intentions are; that that this person hurries up and heals and no one has to suffer the experience of anyone dying or being permanently disabled in some way. But what about the person in question, what is best for them?

To me that sounded kind of crazy originally because I was thinking why wouldn’t this person want to heal and get better? Did they want to die? That had nothing to do with it, this goes back to Soul Contracts and our time here on Earth as a human. On my website I discuss Soul Contracts and in brief review, it is how long you planned to be here on earth as a human with all the things that you wanted to experience in order to progress in Heaven to your final resting place. It also leaves some space for things to occur naturally in the world, as things do. We planned to be here, complete with all the misery and all the good. Every broken heart, every fall, every disaster, and all the pain that went with it. It’s hard to imagine that we would do this to ourselves but trust me, we did. We also planned the good things, and good friends and while things do happen that are our of our control, what we call Acts of God, for the most part you called it. Now here is a big pill to swallow, you even chose your parents….. I know, I know many of you are shaking your head saying you wouldn’t abuse yourself that way but here is a comforting thought…..Your children chose you!

Anyway, when we are faced with tragedy such as a horrible car accident or an illness we automatically tend to pray that they heal and live forever. But those prayers are for us so we don’t have to suffer and grieve. They aren’t for the person hurt. We don’t know where they are in their Soul Contract and this may be deterring the inevitable. Case in point, and I have many but we will go with this one, my husbands’ friend recently died in a motorcycle accident. It was horrific; the bike was smashed to pieces, torn apart, and he left behind a beautiful wife and 2 little boys. It was an awful thing to have happen so young in life to loose your life and leave behind a young little family. Here is the kicker – he got in a motorcycle accident less that 9 months beforehand and the doctors and surgeons worked like mad to patch him back together so he would live. Guess what, it was meant to be and this time the accident was bad enough that it would happen. When God calls us back, He calls us back.

This is when people ask “But where is God, he allowed this terrible thing to happen!” “I’m never going to church again, I’m giving up on God because he doesn’t do anything for me!” I have said those words and more because I had no belief in anything. What I did  learn is that God is there to help the injured or sick person through transition and welcome them on the other side at the end of “their” journey. Great celebration takes place on the other side. Family and friends who have passed, including pets, are coming to welcome them home. It is a joyous event, everyone is talking, high fiving, milling around, catching up on what’s new….They look back at us smiling because they know in not too long you will be there too. They know you’re sad but once it is your time and you transition you will remember and they will come for you!!

This is where God comes in for us. He is there to help us, the ones left behind, deal with the loss. He is there to ease the pain and get us back on our feet. We may not feel or see Him, but He is there. That is the true Miracle; that we go on with our lives as we had designed with Him. It is more important that we finish what we came here to do, than taking too long to grieve. We may be cursing Him yet He forgives us because we can’t remember. He is literally working a Miracle of healing in your heart trying to bring us understanding and acceptance. That is why all of a sudden you feel better one day and are able to move on. It took me a very long time to understand this but I finally got it.

Now when I pray I pray for the best possible outcome as prescribed by God and the person in question. I pray that whatever is meant to be will be. It is the hardest thing I have had to but then I remember incidents like my husbands’ friends’ motorcycle accident and others I knew like him. I am reminded that nothing in this world is about me and what I think should be, it is all about Spirit and our Greater Purpose. Next time you pray for someone try truly praying for them and see how you feel afterwards. God is everywhere, truly working Miracles in every way, every day! To All that Is….

Blessings,

Kristen