Heart to Heart Relationship Recovery Institute Announces New Show!!

Welcome to Heart to Heart with Leif and Kristen Burkhardt – Hanson talking with guests about the diversity they face in their relationships. Listeners worldwide will hear courageous and inspiring stories from … couples about how they personally battled circumstances such as: alcoholism, addiction, domestic violence, Infidelity, long term illness, previous divorces and so much more!

By overcoming their own unique set of circumstances, Leif and Kristen know first-hand how these issues can either destroy a marriage or make it stronger. They believe that by going out into the community and sharing honest and intimate heart to heart conversations enlightens’ people to the possibility of healing their own problems. They will also discuss how the effect of life coaching, clinical hypnotherapy, building and relying upon a spiritual foundation was the difference between success and separation for their marriage!            

The subject matter that will be covered is what happens when one of the individuals in the relationship has any of the following circumstances either before the relationship started or it developed during:

• Alcoholism
• Addiction )drugs, sex, love, etc.)
• Abuse
• Chronic/Long Term Illness
• Infidelity
• Domestic Violence
• Unable to Set Boundaries/Unable to Speak your Truth
• Had Had a Divorce, or a Few Divorces
• Is part of a Step Family
• Has Low Self Esteem/Self Worth

Have you or anyone in the immediate family come down with a long term sickness/sudden health change?

• Cancer
• Heart Attack
• Autoimmune
• Alzheimer’s
• Parkinson’s
• Stroke
• Etc..

One or both partners have a history of:

• Sexual abuse
• Childhood abuse
• Sexual assault
• Domestic violence
• Anger issues
• Lying/Narcissistic tendencies

Additional thoughts:

• How did faith play a role?
• What happens when these issues come up and have you handled it?
• Did anyone receive counseling?
• Are they still ongoing?
• What is the residual damage?

Other topics that may be intertwined:

• Have you been divorced and is this a second, third, or more marriage?
• Blending families where one of the new members has any of the above issues?
• Is there ongoing problems with the ex-spouse, the children?
• Is there/ has there been domestic violence in the home?

Show Agenda:

Each show will have different guests with a different topic.

There will be the opportunity for listeners World Wide to call in and participate and share their stories or learn how to make changes within themselves. This will involve intimate conversations between Leif, Kristen and the couple regarding the situation:

• What was it?
• Who was involved?
• What was happening during this time?
• What were your thoughts, fears, actions?
• What made you decide to get help, what course did you take, how did you feel about that?
• How are you now, what has changed, what are you still working on?
• What is your outlook, what words of wisdom do you have for others in a similar situation?
• Plus much more!

Join Heart to Heart with the Hansons weekly at 7 pm Sunday Evenings, click on the link right below us:

http://radio.hearttoheartrri.com

If you’re interested in being a GUEST on the show please click on the link below to go to the Heart to Heart website for the show application!

Heart to Heart Relationship Recovery Institute

http://www.hearttoheartrri.com

 

 

 

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Why is Everyone I Date an Idiot??!!

Well, maybe not an idiot but you get the point. Why is it that everyone you date doesn’t seem to have their crap together? Why do you go from person to person to person always finding something wrong with them? Or every relationship you start either goes up in flames or sinks like a ship? For whatever reason there just doesn’t seem to be any reprieve and the last person you dated was worse than the last! Your friends and family are beginning to think you will be eternally single and you think that there will never be the RIGHT person!! Let’s look at that for a moment…..who IS the RIGHT person and why can’t you meet them?

How many of you meet a guy or a girl and everything seems alright until about the third date? Then, after that you seem to find something wrong with them; some habit, their style, the way they chew their food, etc. Or, you think it’s a good idea to talk about meeting your parents and what are their thoughts on marriage? I used to be the kind of person that dated losers. Every guy was worse off than the last; no car, no job, and riding a friend’s couch. My dad would cringe every time he opened the door and see some long-haired, unemployed, guy without a hope in the world. I dated men who hurt me, abused me, lied to me, stole from me..You know the story. The only thing I didn’t have happen was get a venereal disease or get pregnant. No wait, I lied, I did and actually had a miscarriage.

I thought that was as good as I could do, I didn’t feel like I was worthy of dating anyone better. I didn’t feel very good about myself inside, and I didn’t look good on the outside. My outer appearance affected my inner turmoil. I was either angry all the time or heavily intoxicated. I just couldn’t seem to pull it or myself together. I just felt so hopeless, and so desperate to have someone love me I looked in all the wrong places and went with just about any guy. I thought that if someone loved me then everything would be ok. I just wanted someone to make me feel better.

My poor choice in men began when I was a teenager. I dated a guy who lied to me and cheated on me. He cheated because he could…and all the girls loved him and he knew it. I stayed with him for a few years because I believed somewhere in my demented head that he loved me too and if I were just BETTER than I currently was he would stop cheating and be happy with me. I made his cheating problem all about me. I internalized his need for infidelity and made it about myself. Sound familiar? I did everything I could from dressing as pretty as I could, to trying all the hottest sex moves, to being at his beck and call. I was a very sick individual at the time. What I didn’t know that staying with that person would set the precedence for a life of pain, disappointment, and lack of trust in anyone or anything. I already had incredibly low self-esteem when I met this person to begin with and he was the icing on a very shitty cake.

By the time I met my first husband I was 23 and he was 30. I had my children with him and was married for 14 years. My alcoholism continued to escalate because that relationship cemented in me the fact that I was worthless, ugly, fat, stupid, and not worth the dirt off of someone’s shoes. I was angry and I was hateful and I just gave up. I figured I would drink myself to death and it will all be over. I believed that this lifetime was just a horrible mistake, besides the birth of my daughters I had no good memories and certainly nothing to look forward to. In my mind it was over…I couldn’t find it within myself to change my perspective. I prayed for death…I prayed that it would come quickly and each morning when I woke up still awake I became even more depressed.

When I finally divorced my husband I rented an apartment with my 2 daughters. I feel sorry for them because they saw me in ways no child should have to see their mother. I can’t change that, but I did change the way I moved forward. I met a nice man, my current husband, and he too had his own unique blend of damage. It was through meeting him that I began to THINK about changing my life, I just didn’t know how. He inspired me to be a better mother for my children and a better woman for my own sake. I had no idea how to go about it but by exchanging stories and learning from each other I began to think maybe……just maybe I had a second chance in me….maybe.

After a 3 year long distant relationship I eventually moved to Arizona with my daughters. While my relationship with Leif was OK, we both were experiencing residual problems from our first marriages. He was married to his first wife for 17 years and he too has 2 children. What we have learned through our education to become Life Coaches is that until we resolve the initial incidents that caused the problems we currently have we are doomed to repeat the choices of the past. We will make the same benevolent choices over and over again and it doesn’t matter WHO we date, our behavior will naturally occur. To move forward and get into healthy, fulfilling, and long lasting relationships with quality people the changes must occur from within us.

The one thing I know just as equally as I know about addiction is love and the lack there of it. I know that the work I had to do over the past 2 years was paramount in my relationship recovery. I had to heal the broken parts of me before I could really see who I was AND where I wanted to go. My husband had to go through it as well to heal his issues. Then, together we learned to encapsulate the true essence of a loving, trusting marriage. The work is hard, and reliving some situations are painful but until we get dirty and really release those problems and those people we won’t have the relationships we want with anyone!

It isn’t just about having a happy marriage; relationship recovery is for all the relationships in your life including your children, your parents, co-workers and the general public. Only you can make the changes necessary for your success. You can’t hold the world hostage because of your previous experiences! Potential partners do not deserve what has happened to your, and they can’t be punished for your poor choices of the past and the damage you have received. That is OUR problem, not there’s and if we do treat each new person like our last partner..we will never find what we are looking for. It will only repeat itself time and time again!

Relationship Recovery is for all people in all phases of life and it doesn’t matter if you are married or single. It doesn’t matter if you have been married for 50 years or 5 minutes, the time to make those critical changes is now. If you’re single, this is a perfect time to address your personal issues and prepare yourself for a relationship that is worthy of you! Nothing will change until you do…..

To learn more see www.sacredcircleministry.com!

In Light!

Kristen

 

Relationship Coaching

As Leif and I really step out into this ministry we are seeing more and more of a need for Relationship Coaching. SO MANY couples are in crisis right now be it financially, physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, etc. The past 5-6 years for most of us have been exceptionally difficult because of the economy and the amount of loss many of us have suffered. While we have been busy trying to repair our credit, our lives, our families, and our careers we haven’t done anything about our marriage or partnership! We just don’t put enough emphasis on it and think that it will all work itself out in the end. That end MAY be divorce court!

By NOT acknowledging what IS happening, right now, will end you up in divorce court. I know, and so does my “new” husband because we are both divorced. It isn’t anything I would recommend for anyone unless you have a situation that obviously calls for it. If you think you have experienced loss with the economy and your career, it fails in comparison to what you loose through divorce especially if you have children.

The number one thing I see today with couples is the FEAR to to COMMUNICATE about your commitment with each other. I don’t mean just the basic day to day conversation, I mean sitting down face to face, and having a CONVERSATION with each other about your feelings, concerns, ideas, and where this is going. Not yelling, not blaming, not finger pointing, and making excuses but TALKING, albeit passionately, about what is important to you and how you feel. When was the last time you had a conversation with your other half and really asked how their day was and truly cared? Or asked what you both would like to do in the next year, or 5 years, or even Saturday night?

Instead, we turn to friends, co-workers, family, the delivery guy and anyone else who has an ear. Anyone that is able to tolerate us telling the same story over and over again about how unhappy we are with our partner and if they would just do this one thing every thing would be ok bla, bla, bla!! UGH! How many of you do this? I did, for 17 years…and so did my current husband for 20 years!! His best friend told him “Look, until you deal with this, stop talking about it!” Alrighty then….’nough said.

What’s wrong with that picture?

While many of those people mean well with their advice, however, do they have your best intentions at heart? Do they not like your partner and use this opportunity to infiltrate their own agenda? Are they after your partner and are using this all as helpful information? What is their own relationship status like, what makes then an authority? Be careful who you share your dirty laundry with because there may be people looking to start trouble. Keep your family business between you and your family, always.

Now, I know that our partners may not be easy to talk with and often a simple discussion turns into a screaming match. It’s because BOTH of you are exhausted and frustrated. Both of you are like a match and when the other opens their mouth that is the fire to spark it. What once was a simple hello can quickly turn into a giant F*** Y**! The same argument surfaces time and time gain with each of you yelling louder and LOUDER so desperate to be heard!! You both just want to be heard and acknowledged, and the other won’t budge…you both HAVE to be right..sound familiar?

Yet we live in the same house together. We may not be in the same bed or share meals but we are in the house still….so….there may be a chance to turn this thing around. If not, then let’s get that out in the open as well. No sense on sitting on a divorce if that is where your heart truly lays. Coaching can also be a safe place to bring it up AND you may find the other person has been feeling the same way. or, you may find that it is an open window to begin dialogue.

Being a divorced couple, we know first hand the stresses couples face. We both were in long term marriages, we both have children, and we both thought we would never get divorced yet we both were the ones to file for the divorce. We understand your plight, we understand the complexity and we have been through MANY circumstances in our marriages and with each other and can address certain private matters safely and discreetly. It doesn’t matter your age, sexual orientation, race, or religion we all face challenges.

In an effort to expand our business and bring awareness to the world about the power of COACHING we are offering 2 couples a unique opportunity to enter your partnership into Relationship Coaching! You and your partner are eligible to receive 3 (THREE) 90 minute coaching sessions with my husband and I for 3 weeks. This way both sides feel represented and it isn’t 2 against 1! That is ONE session a week for THREE weeks. If you are interested please read the following and apply! We will be accepting applications for the next 5 days until March 11 and you will notified by email by March 13 if you were selected.

The Program

Are you LIVING AUTHENTICALY in your current relationship? Being AUTHENTIC means being who you truly are inside and outside of your relationship. That when you are either with your partner or out in the world you don’t have to change hats, you can truly be your happy and expressive self! You encourage each other to grow and expand. You nurture each other and take interest in their interests. You’re explorative and want to be adventurous. Being AUTHENTIC is not stifling your partners growth or possibilities while learning to create your own.

Does any of the following ring true for you with your partner:

• Have a spiritual connection.
• MUTUALLY satisfying sexual connection.
• Happy, successful, and growing TOGETHER!
• Truly able to express your love FREELY and without reserve.
• Share common goals, plans, desires!
• Happy to see each other at the end of the day!
• Have a direction that you are going in!
• Building a strong family foundation.
• Encouraging the other to follow their dreams.
• Being YOURSELF in all ways!

Or

• Lack of spiritual connection to each other
• Your partner doesn’t seem to understand you.
• You feel scared to talk about your true feelings.
• You feel humiliated in front of your partner.
• Your sex life is not satisfying.
• There is no sex life.
• You want to experience new things and they don’t.
• One or both of you have had an affair.
• Your growing apart and in different directions.
• Bringing up the past, playing the blame game.
• One of you is chronically ill.
• Parenting differences.

Why Coaching and not Therapy?

In certain circumstances traditional therapy does have its place. Relationship Coaching works differently than traditional therapy by not concentrating on the past but how do we move forward from here! The PAST IS OVER and we can’t go back and change it! So let it GO! If both members are willing, Relationship Coaching can help breath fresh, EXCITING life into a tired, worn out union! Traditional therapy keeps us in the “why”. Coaching is about action and we don’t care about the ‘why” we are concerned with the “how” and the “what”? How do we move forward and what steps do we take? That is coaching.

Directions

If you are interested in turning your current relationship around please send me and email at kristen@sacredcircleministry.com  with the basis if the problem you are having, your concerns and your desired result. This will be for 3 90 minute sessions, for 3 weeks. You both will be required to be present and have a desire to DO the work – no matter how dark and messy, and be willing to be vulnerable. BIG changes are going to occur! We are primarily looking for couples who would seriously benefit from this experience but could otherwise not afford it. To find out more about Leif and I and how we Coach visit us at www.scaredcircleministry.com and learn how we can help you!!

Thank you and Blessings Abound!

~Kristen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love Addiction with Co-Dependency

I heard it in the movie Juno that the best you can hope for is to “Find someone who loves you for exactly who you are.” Maybe it’s slightly paraphrased but you get the point. Isn’t that what we all want? To be accepted and loved for who we are; good, bad, or indifferent? How many of us go searching in all the wrong places for that? Or try to change ourselves to fit into the mold of what someone else wants? I mean, really think about it and your past experiences in relationships. How many people did you actually date that were interested in you for exactly who you were and didn’t have some kind of personal agenda?  I’m sure there are a few of you who have been blessed early in life with finding that ‘once in a lifetime’ partner and I applaud you, sincerely! I’m glad you haven’t had to experience the heartaches and disappointment many of us have felt. I know I have dated some guys that….for lack of a better term were TOTAL LOSERS!! I don’t even know what I was thinking sometimes. Onward….

I dated men that weren’t emotionally available, I dated men who didn’t like women very much. I dated men that didn’t even like themselves very much. In my first marriage I ultimately married a guy like that. I thought, love was all I needed. I believed that if I found the right guy that everything would be ok. I thought I could change him and once we got married we would have this happy little family and all the bad stuff will go away. I put up with so much bad behavior from my boyfriends and then my first husband that I cringe just thinking about it now. I loved the feeling of falling in love; meeting that new guy and having that connection, and I would look for it often. The only time I broke up with someone was because I already had another guy in the wings. If I got broken up with I’d be on the hunt that night looking or a new love so I would feel better. I was highly codependent; thinking that I could fix any man with any kind of problem if I loved him enough. I believed I could change into what ever he wanted.  But I never received any love back and couldn’t figure out why that was. I would ask myself “What is wrong with me?” Am I too ugly? Am I too fat? Am I not good enough? I thought that if I became the perfect person that they would have to love me…..I thought love was the answer to everything and that if someone loved me enough and if I loved them that nothing else mattered.

I lost friends, rejected my family and lost interests in things that mattered to me. I allowed their world to become my world and took on behaviors that weren’t mine. I exchanged the person I was for the person they wanted me to be. I changed my style, my hair, my weight, and my image. I thought that if I were just “good enough” they would love me. When I was rejected (which was plenty of times) I took it to mean that there was something wrong with me, not that possibly the guy was a total a-hole, but that I had the problem. Can you imagine? Maybe some of you can resonate! I hurt so badly inside during these times, I just can’t believe that I was so desperate. I sacrificed my career, education, and chances to travel. I just lost any part of me that made Kristen who she was and I did it on purpose! I was out of control and my friends were just sick of me and my drama. Crazy with a booze bottle….that was me.

When I created this life coaching and hypnotherapy business I was so excited because I wanted to help so many people with afflictions such as mine. Yet as I began to lay out my business plan I saw just how screwed up in life I was. Truly. I mean, just look at my list of specialties!  How did I get this way? When did I loose my way in the world and end up with all of these problems? What kind of life plan did I lay out for myself before I came here because this lifetime has been a doozy. Maybe I am planning some kind of big  final exit. Maybe this is my last time coming around and I want to go out with a bang!! Yeah that’s it! I’m so glad I finally have a chance to heal my life, and heal those memories. It’s ok, because if I didn’t go through them I wouldn’t be able to help others who are suffering.

So what is Love Addiction and how do you know if you have it? It’s being addicted to that intoxicated feeling you get when you meet someone new and exciting! It’s that rush that someone finds you interesting and you find them interesting. It can be a sexual attraction, and often Love and Sex Addiction goes hand in hand much like Love addiction and Co-dependency. Here is the best description I found from Love Addiction Treatment Center:

*“While the desire to love and be loved is perfectly normal, the intoxicating feeling of being “in love” can be addictive for some individuals. If you’ve ever been in love, you know how powerful it can be. Suddenly your world is completely turned upside down. You feel an excitement – an energy, if you will – that makes everything seem new and wonderful. Some people describe it as feeling like they were walking on air. It’s natural to want this euphoric feeling to last forever.

Of course, most people realize that the wonderful initial feeling of new love doesn’t (and can’t) last forever. In healthy long-term relationships, the initial love gradually gives way to a more mature love – one that is perhaps less intoxicating and euphoric, but ultimately much more fulfilling and stable. For those prone to love addiction, however, the loss of that initial euphoria is akin to the crash that drug addicts feel when their drug of choice wears off. They crave the “high” and begin the search for another fix. Love addicts are no different, which is why they often go from one relationship to the next once the initial high wears off.”

Do you think you have a Love Addiction with Co-Dependency issue?

• Do you fall in love easily and quickly?
• Do you think that you are nothing with out a partner?
• Do you base your self worth on the fact of having a partner or not?
• Do you get jealous and feel possessive easily?
• Do you find yourself dating anyone who asks you?
• Are you always looking for your next relationship?
• Do you sabotage your relationships just so you can start a new one?
• Do you search for high risk partners thinking your love can fix them?
• Do you stay in unhealthy relationships because you believe your love is enough for the both of you?
• Do you equate sex to love?
• If you have sex with someone do you now believe this is a relationship?
• Do you have sex with anyone who asks, thinking it is because they like/love you?
• Do you believe you are unlovable?
• Were you rejected early in life from your parents or caregivers?
• When you go on a date you immediately size the person up for marriage?
• Do you sacrifice friends and family for your partner?
• Partake in activities you know are dangerous just to make them happy? (drugs, alcohol, sex)
• You loose interest in your friends, activities, and job?
• Do your friends and family cringe every time you have a new “relationship”?
• Are you mentally and physically exhausted at the thought of leaving a bad relationship?
• Do you tolerate physical and verbal abuse because you think you deserve it?

If any of these symptoms ring true for you, you may be suffering from Love Addiction with Co-Dependency. Hypnotherapy and Coaching truly worked wonders for me by getting to the root of my problems. I had very low self esteem and self worth. It made such a difference in my second marriage. I was already on the road to healing when I met him but going through the training enabled me to shed the remaining parts of me that were not healthy. My second husband and I have been working very hard on our issues because we want a healthy, stable, and rewarding lifestyle!

Please visit my website at www.sacredcircleministry.com for a complete overview of services to see how we may be able to help you! You don’t have to live like this, it may be hard work to transform behaviors but it is so much more rewarding. Relationships are meant to be an additive or a compliment to who we are, not something to change us. However, in order to find someone to love us for exactly who we are, we have to be ready. By being ready means being healthy and leaving the other baggage behind. Until we change we will live the same pattern over and over wishing we will get better.

In light

Kristen

*From www.loveaddictiontreatment.com

 

7 Ways to Begin a Spiritual Foundation

I am preparing for a presentation in my Universal Laws class tonight and the “7 Laws” is my presentation piece. It’s been no secret I have had a difficult time connecting to a spiritual foundation even though I had become a minister. I just knew that is what I had to do and the rest would follow. My job is to help others connect to their spiritual-ness, and not really be concerned about my own. People say “Well, how can you teach someone what you don’t even know yourself?” I said “Easily, I  don’t have to have the answers, I only have to have the questions.” As a Life Coach or a minister it isn’t my job to tell anyone what to believe, it is simply my privilege to ask powerful questions and hold space while my clients contemplate their meaning of spirituality. It’s a beautiful position to be in, that’s for sure. If I were in Ego, or in my head worrying about not having all the answers, I would have to wait to obtain a Ph.D from Princeton Seminary before I felt ready. Trust me, the teacher for this class has just that and his knowledge runs deep and wide. At first I was intimidated now I just soak it up.

Our assignment was to create a presentation based on some of the Spiritual Laws we had studies in class or we can research and make up our own. We looked at the Course of Miracles, and nothing there resonated. I looked at the 11 Insights of the Celestine Prophecy, still no connection. We read Doreen Virtue’s break down of the Kybalion (Hermetic teachings) called Divine Magic: The 7 Sacred Secrets of Manifestation and while it was great, they weren’t speaking to me. However, for a Doreen Virtue book that one really clued me into some energetic and Universal factors I didn’t know. I looked further into several other beliefs and nothing seemed to fit at all and then I came across Deepak Chopra’s “7 Keys to Success”. Now, don’t get too excited because I found at least 55 different versions of this online, including at least 5 from Deepak himself! There are the 7 Laws of Success, 7 Laws of Spiritual Success, 7 Laws of Spirituality, and the 7 Laws of Being Spiritually  Successful. No lie.

It’s the same core concepts but with different twist each time. It isn’t bad it just show’s Mr. Chopra’s advancement in his own spiritual growth. The laws themselves have held the test of time, and I thought maybe they would work for me.  So, I just picked this version and decided to change it up like everyone else has to fit my own interpretation. Once I got into it though it really made a  profound impact on me, I really resonated with the laws in relation to my own  growth. I added my own personal spin and made them unique to me.

The Universe is full of energy and it is attracted to other things that have energy. Have you heard of The Laws of Attraction? It means that what we give thought or action to (energy)  is the outcome we will have.  What you give attention to attracts energy for the Universe. We want to be highly vibrating individuals but often we aren’t, we are full of darkness and things that don’t allow us to shine. We vibrate at the lowest levels, far away from the universe so we don’t get any of the good effects it offers. By building a spiritual foundation we begin to vibrate, higher and higher and each time we take a step we get better. As we get better and heal a piece of us rises to join the Universe. We are now building a direct link and we begin an exchange with the Universe and our life begins to turn around.

Deepak Chopra’s 7 Keys to Success

Step 1. The Law of Pure Potentiality: “The source of all creation is pure consciousness… pure potentiality seeking expression from the un-manifest to the manifest. And when we realize that our true Self is one of pure potentiality, we align with the power that manifests everything in the universe.”

*Our first step on our spiritual journey is accepting ourselves exactly as we are. By discovering our “True” self  and know who you really are, it’s in the “knowing” that you have the ability to fulfill any dream you wish. When we were born we were born with pure potential, we had the ability to make manifest anything we wanted. But Ego and mankind influenced our thoughts and ideas. We began to “think” we knew what was good for us, and not trust the Universe. By removing what we think, and our Ego, and accepting ourselves fully for who we are is when we will begin our spiritual journey.

Step 2: The Law of Giving: “The universe operates through dynamic exchange of giving and receiving. They are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe. And in our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.“

* When we are in darkness; being abused, being addicted or experiencing anything that takes away our Light we aren’t able to give or to receive. By getting into service and doing for others we begin the energy exchange, albeit a small one, it is action. It takes our focus off ourselves and puts it on those who need it. When we gain strength and begin to build upon that giving, we raise our vibrations a little more until we are eventually able to take care of ourselves. As we learn to take care of ourselves we are able to experience giving and receiving happily.

Step 3: The law of Karma: “Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind – what we sow is what we reap. And when we choose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of our karma is happiness and success.”

*What goes around, comes around. I don’t believe Karma is one big thing hanging up in the Heaven’s waiting to punish us. The Universe it is a Universal system of “like attracts like” energy. When we are not living our best life and making poor choices, poor consequences will follow. Not because someone upstairs is punishing us but because that is the natural law of energy. If there is happening over to the left be it good or bad the energy will go to the left. If something is happening on the right, the Universe picks up there is action on the right and goes there. The Universe is beyond having to decide what is right or what is wrong, it just goes where it feel’s other energy. As we learn to live our lives better we send out more positive energy thus attracting more positive energy and this results in good Karma.

Step 4: Law of Least Effort: “Nature’s intelligence functions with effortless ease  with carefreeness, harmony, and love. And when we harness the forces of harmony, joy, and love, we create success and good fortune with effortless ease.“

*As humans we were born with the  natural ability to love, have harmony and experience joy. When a new baby looks at his mother he looks at her through eyes of pure love, he doesn’t know any other way. Animals respond in much the same way. In nature, flowers don’t try to bloom, birds don’t try to fly, and humans can’t try to love. It is to be occurring naturally, but again, we get in Ego and thought, and negativity, and other emotions not serving us take over. We can actually learn to hate. Least Effort is when we love, unconditionally, lifting our vibrations so high that negativity and hate have no place. Emotions like shame, guilt, and fear can’t live in a body vibrating that high. With practice and in time we can be restored back to love, harmony, and joy and increasing our vibrations even more.

Step 5: Law of intention and Desire: “Inherent in every intention and desire is the mechanics for its fulfillment.  Intention and desire in the field of pure potentiality have infinite organizing power. And when we introduce an intention in the fertile ground of pure potentiality, we put this infinite organizing power to work for us.“

*This is what the Laws of Attraction are about; what intention we set is what action we receive. If we say we will fail a test, we will fail the test. If we say we will win the race, we will win the race. What we worry about comes true as well. What ever we give energy to in thought, happens. We do this enough and a thought can become a pattern, and a pattern can becomes a way of life. This alone can cause us to vibrate at a lower level. Set our intention high and in a good place and you will naturally attract what you want.

Step 6: Law of Detachment: “In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty. In the wisdom of uncertainty list the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe.“

*Relinquishing attachment to the end result. Attachment is based on fear and insecurities. When we try to control an outcome we have our own energy on it, so we have taken from the Universe. When we “Let Go and Let God” we are saying we trust that the outcome will be the best for us. In this case there is no good or bad, it is just an outcome. When we release our thoughts around it, the answer will always be as it should. It may not be what we want, but it is always the right answer. Think back to all the unanswered prayers you felt you didn’t receive. How many of those were a blessing in disguise?

Step 7: The Law of Dharma: “Everyone has a purpose in life a unique gift or special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.“

*Dharma, Karma. I heard of karma but never heard of dharma before this year. It literally means living the best life possible. This reminds me of the show Dharma and Greg. Most people thought she was a nut, especially Greg’s parents. Yet, she truly was the quintessential image of Dharma. She loved unconditionally, she always saw the good in people and things, she was always positive, she was compassionate, non judgmental, she was Vegan, and couldn’t hurt a fly. She saw the optimism in everything! For as messed up as her parents were on the show, they raised one hell of a kid. Imagine if we raised our kids to see the world like that and to BE in the world like that? Could you imagine the shift?

I was about having hope, hope that tomorrow is going to be a better day and that I am still alive for a reason. When God calls us back, our time here is done and our lessons have been learned. After years and years of wishing I wasn’t alive anymore I finally came to the understanding that I must have something pretty powerful to learn. My only hope now is that God will keep me around long enough to enjoy it. You may or not be a spiritual person, I certainly wasn’t and my life always ran amuck. I had one of those lives that I was all over the place, very miserable, and had no grounding force. Slowly but surely I am getting those foundations down. When we live our life by a code, or a set of rules it enables us to have something to build upon. It isn’t about being “holy” it’s about being present and ready! Feel free to take these 7 Laws of Success and alter them to your understanding!

Blessings,

~Kristen

 

So it begins….

A New Year, a New Me, a New Beginning. That is how I am starting 2014 off. I am already declaring it the Best Year Ever and I am seeing the world with new eyes. I am not bringing with me my jaded thoughts of the past, I am not bringing regret, I am not bringing old hurts and past pain. I am bringing forward a brand new individual forward fully equipped to make a profound difference in at least 1 persons life. 1 person. If it happens with more that will be awesome but if I can effect 1 positively it will all be worth it.

2013 was s very painful year, as it was for many of my friends and family, and it has taught me many lessons I had not learned in my 46 years. With 47 looming in the not-so-distant future it is my hope that I don’t have any more big lessons to learn in life any time soon. My big lesson for 2013 was ‘’Get Over It”. While going through my hypnotherapy studies we had many classes that dealt with how information that is stored in our subconscious mind can actually become our reality. That’s the short version. Our subconscious is like a giant tank, it holds every single thought of every single thing that ever was or ever will be. In there are all the things we have ever heard or thought about ourselves, even as far back as our past lives.

Can you imagine? We wonder why people have so many issues in this world; we have a huge well of unproductive thought hanging around in our mind. That is the premise we operate from, that is the view we exist from. Everything from what our parents said to us, to Tommy on the play ground making fun of us, the mean girls in high school, and even in our relationships as adults we store this information like a giant file cabinet. We periodically go through that file cabinet pulling out those files as we see necessary. What if, we pretend we didn’t hear any of those things? What if, we wipe the slate clean and begin this year as someone who has never experienced a broken heart, a hurtful comment, or a racist remark ? Imagine what your life would be like at this age and not having any of the past baggage strapped to you? Here is my Top 10 List for New Beginnings!

Top 10 List for 2014!

Lesson 1. Release your parents from what they ‘did’ to you as a child. They were operating from the point of doing the very best they had with the information they had at the time. Remember, they had parents as well, and they are the result of their parenting. They didn’t know that what they were doing, in most cases, was harmful because it had been done to them. Want to really blow your mind? We choose our parents…..Oh yeah.

Lesson 2. How old are you right now? You are still blaming (fill in the blank) for your lack of success for 40 plus years?? Really?!?!

Lesson 3. Stop telling your Story. The Story is the story you keep telling everyone you meet. Are you the kind of person who tells your whole life story in the first 5 minutes of meeting someone? Stop it. It doesn’t do you any good, in fact it deters people from you. Telling that same story over and over again only further cements it in your subconscious allowing it to become more real every time you tell it.

Lesson 4. Release your negative thoughts! Ouch. That one was personal, I can take a pain and turn it into stage 4 cancer in a matter of minutes. Be careful what you say and think because your words have power.

lesson 5. Don’t tell people how they should live their life. Unless you are God you have no idea where a person has been or what they have been through. They will answer to their Higher Power in the end, as will you. It is best to be concerned with yourself becoming the best person you can be instead of telling someone else how to.

Lesson 6. Forgive. Release all of the people who have hurt you and then forgive yourself. Hanging on to grudges, anger, and resentment only hurts you. It really does, this was huge for me. I was overcome with anger…so much anger. Whewwww. I also learned that we don’t have to invite that person/people back into our lives either. We don’t have to be friends and it is ok to have healthy boundaries.

lesson 6. Search out a Spiritual Path if you Don’t Have One. Most of us were baptized into the religion of our families and many feel stuck there. We  go to church or temple week after week and get nothing from it. Begin the year quietly contemplating whether being spiritual or religious is important to you? There are 325 documented religions in the world and endless forms of spirituality, maybe finding something special you can relate to will help you in your life.

Lesson 7. Love Unconditionally. We can’t hold our new partners hostage for the crimes of past partners. Also, if you are in a situation where you have “forgiven’ your partner for something, make sure you have let it go and not be bringing it up. Look at your relationship with fresh eyes…Love them as if your heart has never been broken. Yes, you may risk being hurt again, but remember they are too…we aren’t the only ones who have been damaged….

Lesson 8. Let go of Prejudice. It does no good to hate someone for their color, ethnicity, sexual orientation,  religious beliefs, or any other reason they are different from us. It isn’t our business to point out what we think is wrong with someone. I’m sure we have our beliefs from our parents about a lot of things. Let it go…instead, choose compassion. Try looking at someone with love and listen to how your heart feels, people are suffering enough, be a point of light…be their comfort.

Lesson 9. Make a More or Less activity sheet. Get a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side write down all the things you want more of in your life. On the other side make a list of what you want less of. Pick your top 5 and make that your action list for the year!

Lesson 10. Get educated! Take a class, get a degree, and learn something new. Begin 2014 with a wide awake and curious soul!! When was the last time you were in a classroom? Make a resolution to yourself that this year…will be your year!! You will be amazed at how it will change you!!

Blessings!!!